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MITCHELL: I do solemnly swear

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that everything I am about to tell you is true.

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A spill of weirdness from another dimension

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turned my hometown into the center of weirdness

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for the entire universe.

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Don't believe me? Just watch.

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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

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MITCHELL: From my perspective,

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things in Eerie, Indiana,
are generally pretty weird.

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But that's not exactly
front page news around here.

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And even when it is, I'm
the only one who seems to notice.

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Another problem with Eerie,

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it's a one newspaper town.

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Paper's here.

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Sports.

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Front page, please.

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CARRIE: Business and Finance.

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MITCHELL: So, on most mornings,
there's enough to read.

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Comics.

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MITCHELL: If you don't have
to share it with too many people.

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You're mom invited me for breakfast.

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MITCHELL: Oh, great!

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EDWARD: Wheat Whackers lost again?

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It's a zero and 40.

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More layoffs at the Plant.

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Eerie Stock Exchange is down 22 points.

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There go my shares in pop and glow pimple cream.

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Hey, this is from Eerie Technologies.

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Stanley, it's here.

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What's here?

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Our "Space Age Marvel
of Communications Technology.

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No batteries required."

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What the...

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"For best results, wax string?

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"Wax not included.

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"For long distance calling,
add string from package?

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String may contain unknown fibers."

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This isn't what the ad promised.

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EDWARD: This is interesting.

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Eerie girl has world's pointiest head.

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MITCHELL: Passing off two tin cans

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as a marvelous science was more than a swindle.

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It was betrayal of a newspaper's responsibility

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to print the truth.

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I knew somebody had to take
on the power of the press here.

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What I didn't know was the
Eerie Enquirer wasn't just weird.

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It was downright dangerous.

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STANLEY: Try it again, Mitchell.

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Testing one, two, three.

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This stinks!

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I heard that.

52
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Try it again.

53
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Dad, I paid $14 plus shipping
for this stupid thing.

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When I was a kid,

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a good piece of string and a set of tin cans

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will only set you back about $4.50.

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MITCHELL: Dad, they con innocent children.

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Where's the honesty, where's the justice?

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Where do you guys keep your wax?

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I mean, isn't that considered lying?

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I think the official term is advertising.

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Would ear wax work? Well, you know what?

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I'm gonna sue for false advertising.

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Honey, technically, you are walking and talking.

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Mom, your only son's been victimized.

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Mitchell, please.

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I am swamped today.

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As soon as I get to the Nuclear
Plant, I'm taking the phone off th hook.

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MITCHELL: Yeah, but... I just don't
have time to deal with this right now.

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Why don't you talk to the paper?

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Get them to do an... expose.

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Your mother is right.

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The newspapers have to print the truth,

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the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Or is that the postal service?

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You know, I'm gonna go down there,

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and I'm gonna fight for my rights.

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Well, I'll drive you.

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Paper says it's gonna rain.

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No, we'll walk. Come on, Stan.

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[STANLEY SCREAMING]

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[THUNDER RUMBLING]

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It's amazin' how The Enquirer
always knows the weather.

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MRS. TAYLOR: Bye, honey. [KISSES] Buh-bye.

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Excuse me, sir. I'm looking for the editor.

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You're lookin' at him. Emil Conrad.

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Well, sir, it's about...

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Make it snappy, young fellow,
I got a newspaper to get out.

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Well, it was just... That I...

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We, Stanley and me,

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That's the "who." Now give me
the "what," "where," "why" and "how."

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We ordered a walkie-talkie
from an ad in your paper.

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And we were expecting...

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STANLEY: Well, this.

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Space Age Marvel of Communications Technology.

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What's your point?

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It's a string with two tin cans attached.

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Hello?

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Yeah. Roger Wilco, over and out.

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I heard that perfectly.

101
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Now, unless you got some news...

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How about "Innocent boys
duped by misleading add"?

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It's a great human interest story.

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People got no interest in human interest.

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They want blood, gore, death and destruction.
That's what sells papers.

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Now, if you strangled yourself on
the strings, and it was a slow news day,

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maybe. But, Eerie Technologies
is ripping off unsuspecting kids.

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Did you read the fine print?

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What fine print?

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MR. CONRAD: "Not exactly as illustrated.

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May not work, no refunds."

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One way or another, The Eerie
Enquirer always prints the truth.

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Sorry, but you made that
trick down here for biscuits.

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I need real stories. [CHUCKLES]

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Hey. Now take a hike, I got a paper to run.

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MITCHELL: I don't know what
felt worse, that we'd been tricked,

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Or that we'd come in with a useless walkie-talkie

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and now, we didn't even have that.

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You coming? He took our walkie-talkie.

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STANLEY: So what? It doesn't work.

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MITCHELL: It's still ours.

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STANLEY: Wow, what's all this?

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MR. CONRAD: Here. MITCHELL: I
don't know, but there's Mr. Crawford.

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MR. CONRAD: Say cheese...

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Mr. Crawford? Huh?

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What are you doing here?
Well, isn't this great, fellas?

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I won today's "Get your
picture in the paper" contest.

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Get that back to the press, pronto.

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You bet, chief. Hey, Scoop!

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I don't hear them presses
rumbling for the late edition.

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Hold your horses, boss.
I'm just crunching up the lead.

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You kids get outta here,
you're not allowed back here.

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Well, come on, fellas, I'll buy you a black cow.

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Are we finished?

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Yeah, you'll find your
picture in the late edition.

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Well, what about our walkie-talkie?

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Can't, I'm busy.

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Now take the air before you find yourselves

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the center of some tragic news story.

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[MACHINE BLARING]

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What's that? The presses are rolling.

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Exciting, isn't that? [CHUCKLES]

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Well, come on, guys.

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You go ahead, Mr. Crawford, we'll catch up.

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We still got a score to settle.

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Oh, say, uh, have them add an
extra bundle of papers to my order.

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Front page.

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MR. CONRAD: Fireman rescues kitten.

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TRIXIE: It's good news for the morning edition.

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SCOOP: Yeah, we wanna write
some nice stories for a change.

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Forget it, nobody's interested.

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All the people like good news.

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Yeah!

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The Eerie man clones pig,

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opens two-for-one rib restaurant.

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That was good news. [CONRAD GRUNTS]

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I thought you liked ribs. Don't be dissy.

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We compete with 24 hour news channels

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and every clown has a website.

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Think of the news first.
Our news has to grab people.

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But... I pay you to write bad
news because bad news grabs people.

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So, change the kitten to a tiger,
and make him eat the fireman, but first,

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I need something bad enough
to run an extra edition.

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An extra?

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Chief, newspapers don't
publish extra editions anymore.

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Write.

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'Cause TV always scoops 'em, but not today.

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We're running an extra at 6:00 p.m.

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Too late for all those blue
dyed palookas to be the steward.

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So use your mule to think bad.

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Real bad! [WICKEDLY] I know.

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Okay, uh...

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"Summer vacation canceled," that'll grab the young reader.
Maybe "All vacations canceled."

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TRIXIE: Are you nuts?
Whose side are you on? Okay...

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School bus sinks in the lake.

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Been done.

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An avalanche? This time of year?

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SCOOP: Oh, man, am I hungry?

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I could really go for a tuna melt. That's it!

180
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That's a headline? Man bites tuna?

181
00:07:44,212 --> 00:07:46,614
No, Mr. Pulitzer, a melt down.

182
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At the Nuclear Plant? We've never done that.

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SCOOP: Yeah.

184
00:07:49,994 --> 00:07:52,096
I like it. Injuries? Gotta be.

185
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Eight? Nah, eight is not a sad number.

186
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,628
Well, something with an "L" in it.

187
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"L's" are sad. Like,

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twelve. [QUIVERS SADLY]

189
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Yeah, that's it, twelve.

190
00:08:02,194 --> 00:08:03,829
I like eight.

191
00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:05,333
Hey, you look impartial.

192
00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:06,671
What's sadder?

193
00:08:06,706 --> 00:08:08,008
[QUIVERING] Twelve, or...

194
00:08:08,044 --> 00:08:09,712
[STERNLY] Eight?

195
00:08:09,749 --> 00:08:12,184
Uh, I don't know, maybe...

196
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,290
eleven.

197
00:08:14,295 --> 00:08:17,097
Not bad, thanks, buster, you got a nose for news.

198
00:08:17,136 --> 00:08:18,837
Have you seen our walkie-talkie?

199
00:08:18,841 --> 00:08:21,008
Look, we've got an extra edition to get out,

200
00:08:21,013 --> 00:08:23,182
so, amscray, okay?

201
00:08:23,219 --> 00:08:24,888
All right, okay.

202
00:08:24,924 --> 00:08:26,993
Come on, Stan. But...

203
00:08:28,066 --> 00:08:29,934
Smart couple eggs. Yeah.

204
00:08:29,971 --> 00:08:31,839
Just like Conrad to steal their toy

205
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,844
and call it an upgrade of the phone system.

206
00:08:33,848 --> 00:08:34,949
What? Hello?

207
00:08:34,985 --> 00:08:36,052
What?

208
00:08:36,088 --> 00:08:37,356
MR. CONRAD: Meteor...

209
00:08:38,194 --> 00:08:40,896
crushes out of nowhere.

210
00:08:40,935 --> 00:08:45,072
Meteor... smashes town.

211
00:08:47,519 --> 00:08:49,221
Doesn't sing.

212
00:08:49,257 --> 00:08:51,059
Mr. Conrad?

213
00:08:51,096 --> 00:08:53,866
Hey, what part of "some tragic news story"

214
00:08:53,904 --> 00:08:55,344
didn't you guys understand?

215
00:08:57,146 --> 00:08:58,280
Out!

216
00:09:01,258 --> 00:09:02,826
Asteroid...

217
00:09:04,032 --> 00:09:06,735
obliterates... orphanage.

218
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,209
[RUMBLING]

219
00:09:13,357 --> 00:09:14,959
Hey, check this out.

220
00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:17,464
Why didn't Mr. Crawford tell us?

221
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,872
Well, it's in the paper.
Must've happened earlier today.

222
00:09:20,911 --> 00:09:22,531
Maybe he thought we already knew.

223
00:09:22,616 --> 00:09:24,184
Yeah.

224
00:09:24,221 --> 00:09:25,522
Let's go check it out.

225
00:09:34,415 --> 00:09:36,017
MR. CRAWFORD: Oh, hi-ya, fellas.

226
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,955
Aren't these humdingers?

227
00:09:37,993 --> 00:09:39,227
Didn't even order them.

228
00:09:39,263 --> 00:09:41,198
Just arrived on my doorstep.

229
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:43,470
Straight off the plane. From Mexico?

230
00:09:43,507 --> 00:09:45,009
Mexico?

231
00:09:45,045 --> 00:09:47,981
No, these little puppies are from the Yukon.

232
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:49,421
Home of the pinata.

233
00:09:49,425 --> 00:09:51,358
At least that's what the box says anyway.

234
00:09:51,362 --> 00:09:53,198
What about the riot? What riot?

235
00:09:53,234 --> 00:09:54,936
The riot in the paper.

236
00:10:00,069 --> 00:10:02,655
So, there was no riot here?

237
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:05,263
No, and a riot's something I'd remember.

238
00:10:05,301 --> 00:10:07,971
You see, the Enquirer
does put stuff that's not true.

239
00:10:07,977 --> 00:10:09,576
It was right there in black and white.

240
00:10:09,579 --> 00:10:11,014
BOTH: And red all over.

241
00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:13,253
I love that joke. Me too.

242
00:10:13,290 --> 00:10:14,558
We got 'em.

243
00:10:14,593 --> 00:10:16,128
[ALL SHRIEK]

244
00:10:17,134 --> 00:10:19,203
[CHILDREN CHEERING AND SCREAMING]

245
00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:27,158
[MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING]

246
00:10:28,499 --> 00:10:29,967
This is demented.

247
00:10:29,970 --> 00:10:32,671
MITCHELL: No, it's a candy riot.

248
00:10:32,677 --> 00:10:34,178
Just like the Enquirer said.

249
00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:38,555
Lucky guess?

250
00:10:38,593 --> 00:10:41,563
No, they make stuff up,
write it down and it comes true.

251
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,252
This must be the late edition
they were talking about.

252
00:10:48,258 --> 00:10:53,191
Emil's reporters were working
on an extra edition at 6 o'clock.

253
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,069
Meltdown at the Nuclear
Plant, my mom's Nuclear Plant.

254
00:10:56,108 --> 00:10:57,609
Excuse me.

255
00:10:58,415 --> 00:11:00,450
Stop, ow!

256
00:11:12,383 --> 00:11:17,791
MITCHELL: If things at the
Eerie Enquirer ran true to form,

257
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:21,304
[PHONE RINGING] their extra edition
would come off the presses at 6 o'clock.

258
00:11:21,311 --> 00:11:23,712
And if it did, that meant
the story they'd written

259
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,487
about my mom and her Nuclear
Plant would come true.

260
00:11:31,706 --> 00:11:33,475
Come on, answer the phone.

261
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:35,949
Please. [RINGING TONE]

262
00:11:35,953 --> 00:11:38,520
[FEMALE VOICE] Hello,
you've reached Mary Ann Taylor.

263
00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:39,626
Eerie Nuclear Plant.

264
00:11:39,661 --> 00:11:42,564
To report a strange things
flow in the air, press one.

265
00:11:42,604 --> 00:11:44,539
For two-headed animals, press two.

266
00:11:45,010 --> 00:11:46,411
Shes not answering.

267
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,749
Hey, she took the phone off the
hook, remember? We gotta get down there.

268
00:11:49,756 --> 00:11:51,423
Stanley, without security clearance

269
00:11:51,427 --> 00:11:52,861
my dad can't even get to the gate.

270
00:11:52,865 --> 00:11:54,734
I'm not sure there's time.

271
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:57,273
Listen, we could try.
And, call Dad and Carrie, too.

272
00:11:57,279 --> 00:11:58,878
STANLEY: Wait, where you going?

273
00:11:58,881 --> 00:12:01,161
The story can't come true if I stop the presses.

274
00:12:04,430 --> 00:12:05,865
[PHONE RINGING]

275
00:12:07,241 --> 00:12:10,340
MITCHELL: Somehow, I had to find out

276
00:12:10,347 --> 00:12:13,483
how they did what they were
doing at the Eerie Enquirer.

277
00:12:13,522 --> 00:12:16,925
Save my mom and if there was
time, cancel our subscription.

278
00:12:18,001 --> 00:12:19,603
[PHONE RINGING]

279
00:12:24,085 --> 00:12:26,520
I think eight's a sadder number.

280
00:12:26,558 --> 00:12:28,493
Eight. Fate.

281
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,732
There's a sense of tragic destiny, you know?

282
00:12:30,737 --> 00:12:31,938
[MITCHELL WHISTLES]

283
00:12:33,811 --> 00:12:35,647
What are you doing here?

284
00:12:35,683 --> 00:12:38,653
Uh, I'm... [STAMMERS]

285
00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:41,662
I just wanted to "get your
picture in the paper" contest.

286
00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:43,001
Hmm.

287
00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:45,041
Great.

288
00:12:45,076 --> 00:12:46,844
We got just the ticket.

289
00:12:46,881 --> 00:12:47,948
[SCREAMING]

290
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,422
SCOOP: Got it!

291
00:12:50,457 --> 00:12:52,392
Sonny, you were great!

292
00:12:52,430 --> 00:12:56,634
What's this all about, anyway?
Oh, big meltdown at the Nuclear Plant.

293
00:12:56,674 --> 00:12:58,576
It's too hot to get pictures, but this...

294
00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:00,615
This is the hole that China left behind.

295
00:13:00,619 --> 00:13:02,019
MITCHELL: You can't do that.

296
00:13:02,023 --> 00:13:03,858
My mom works at that Nuclear Plant.

297
00:13:03,894 --> 00:13:05,996
Gee, buster. That's, uh...

298
00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:07,702
[DOOR SHUTS] Tough.

299
00:13:07,739 --> 00:13:09,539
Look, I know you guys make up the news.

300
00:13:09,543 --> 00:13:11,779
I don't know how you do it, but... Grab him!

301
00:13:11,816 --> 00:13:14,552
You heard me, Scoop, grab him.

302
00:13:14,558 --> 00:13:16,825
Where's the other one?
He was buying stuffed cheese,

303
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,232
but I think he's lying to us.

304
00:13:18,235 --> 00:13:19,834
Better make sure something bad,

305
00:13:19,838 --> 00:13:22,173
but news-worthy happens
to him and his friend as well.

306
00:13:22,178 --> 00:13:24,080
[MITCHELL SHRIEKS] Bring him in here.

307
00:13:25,521 --> 00:13:27,723
Let me go!

308
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,580
You can't go through with this.
You can't do this to my mom!

309
00:13:32,641 --> 00:13:34,709
Maybe we ought to rethink this meltdown.

310
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,515
Yeah, it could be a small one,

311
00:13:36,519 --> 00:13:37,919
they could catch it just in time.

312
00:13:37,922 --> 00:13:39,289
Sure, plant but close call angle.

313
00:13:39,293 --> 00:13:42,529
Now listen, you two, when I
took this paper over, it was sinking.

314
00:13:42,568 --> 00:13:43,836
Bad news saved it.

315
00:13:43,872 --> 00:13:46,308
So, think up an angle for the kid and his pal,

316
00:13:46,313 --> 00:13:48,713
or you'll be looking for work at good news papers

317
00:13:48,718 --> 00:13:49,918
that aren't there anymore.

318
00:13:49,921 --> 00:13:51,990
Or do I have to put your names in the news?

319
00:13:52,729 --> 00:13:54,030
Uh...

320
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,002
A roller coaster derailment?

321
00:13:56,038 --> 00:13:57,807
Nah, too carnival-y.

322
00:13:57,843 --> 00:13:59,578
Uh, skateboarding over a cliff.

323
00:13:59,582 --> 00:14:01,282
Too much like the hole of China, come on.

324
00:14:01,287 --> 00:14:04,623
Why couldn't they just get marooned
on some nice, tropical island?

325
00:14:04,629 --> 00:14:07,131
Yeah. You're a hopeless.

326
00:14:07,169 --> 00:14:08,671
I'll do it myself.

327
00:14:08,675 --> 00:14:11,009
MITCHELL: No! [GRUNTS]
Look, I know you're the guy

328
00:14:11,014 --> 00:14:13,650
who makes up all the bad
news, and you can't do this!

329
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,355
Kid, I got no choice.

330
00:14:15,359 --> 00:14:18,861
These days, the only way to be ahead of
the game is to make up news nobody else has.

331
00:14:18,869 --> 00:14:25,175
So, I type up "Eerie schoolboy
loses piece of legs."

332
00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:27,388
I hit Control, Alt, Reality.

333
00:14:28,294 --> 00:14:29,629
And...

334
00:14:35,748 --> 00:14:37,350
I can't feel my legs! I know.

335
00:14:37,386 --> 00:14:39,822
People love human tragedy pieces.
They eat 'em up.

336
00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:41,795
Chef, you can't, he's just a kid.

337
00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:44,166
Ah, relax. I'm just taking
the bounce out of his pins

338
00:14:44,171 --> 00:14:45,851
till we get the extra edition done.

339
00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:49,918
That'll take care of them both.

340
00:14:49,954 --> 00:14:52,390
SCOOP: "Eerie boys to visit Mir Space Station."

341
00:14:52,428 --> 00:14:54,063
Hey, this is great!

342
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,234
We'll bury it on page six,
so their folks won't notice it,

343
00:14:56,239 --> 00:14:57,873
then we launch 'em in the early edition.

344
00:14:57,876 --> 00:15:01,812
By the time they get back, we'll be outta
this one horse town and into syndication.

345
00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:05,057
Scoop, Trixie, give me
a hand with the press room.

346
00:15:05,064 --> 00:15:07,397
Guys, look, you gotta
help me change that headline.

347
00:15:07,402 --> 00:15:09,538
Please! No, we can't.

348
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:13,045
I'm sorry, it breaks my heart
this is happening to ya. Really?

349
00:15:13,052 --> 00:15:15,252
How many other people have you guys done this to?

350
00:15:15,257 --> 00:15:17,293
Hey, we're right guys.

351
00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:19,265
You're reading us all wrong. Am I?

352
00:15:19,269 --> 00:15:22,270
To you it's just a story, but
you're making it happen to real people.

353
00:15:22,277 --> 00:15:23,345
People like me.

354
00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:24,481
Hey! Ah...

355
00:15:26,853 --> 00:15:30,326
MITCHELL: No matter how hard I try,

356
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,367
I couldn't reach that weird machine of theirs.

357
00:15:32,371 --> 00:15:34,340
I felt completely helpless.

358
00:15:34,377 --> 00:15:37,017
And if the clock was right,
I had less than ten minutes

359
00:15:37,051 --> 00:15:39,921
to prevent a disaster and save my mom.

360
00:15:39,959 --> 00:15:41,561
[PHONE RINGING]

361
00:15:45,407 --> 00:15:46,487
STANLEY: Mrs. Taylor!

362
00:15:49,986 --> 00:15:51,036
Mitchell?

363
00:15:51,039 --> 00:15:52,456
Stanley, what are you doing here?

364
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:54,295
Couldn't get a hold of anyone, come on.

365
00:15:54,299 --> 00:15:55,934
We gotta go. No, can't move my legs.

366
00:15:55,970 --> 00:16:00,074
Look, go over to that machine and type
in "Mitchell Taylor regains use of legs."

367
00:16:00,114 --> 00:16:01,516
What? You heard me.

368
00:16:01,552 --> 00:16:03,988
That's the machine that
makes up the news, now go.

369
00:16:09,039 --> 00:16:10,474
Can't you type any faster?

370
00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:12,012
I'm not your secretary.

371
00:16:14,521 --> 00:16:15,623
Okay.

372
00:16:15,658 --> 00:16:18,494
Okay, now hit Control, Alt, Reality.

373
00:16:30,299 --> 00:16:32,334
Whoops, I typed in

374
00:16:32,370 --> 00:16:35,206
"Mitchell Taylor regains use of eggs."

375
00:16:36,516 --> 00:16:37,650
Well, fix it.

376
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:43,750
There.

377
00:16:49,585 --> 00:16:52,355
Good. Gotta fix that nuclear meltdown story.

378
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,819
STANLEY: "Eerie mom averts Nuclear Disaster"?

379
00:17:04,894 --> 00:17:06,562
You think it'll work?

380
00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:07,649
Let's hope so.

381
00:17:13,618 --> 00:17:15,186
[PHONE RINGING]

382
00:17:20,437 --> 00:17:22,439
Hello? Dad, hi.

383
00:17:22,444 --> 00:17:25,445
Um, we were just wondering have you
heard anything like an explosion recently?

384
00:17:25,451 --> 00:17:27,419
An explosion?

385
00:17:27,424 --> 00:17:30,592
Yeah, we heard something might've
happened at mom's Nuclear Plant.

386
00:17:30,598 --> 00:17:32,200
Oh, wow.

387
00:17:32,236 --> 00:17:36,240
I'm sure we would've heard
something by now, Mitchell.

388
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,584
In fact, if it had, we'd probably
all be halfway to Jupiter by now.

389
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:41,525
ANNOUNCER: And, topping the news,

390
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,397
the Eerie Enquirer is reporting that a local mom

391
00:17:44,437 --> 00:17:46,506
has averted a nuclear meltdown.

392
00:17:46,542 --> 00:17:48,410
Hey, that's good news.

393
00:17:48,448 --> 00:17:49,782
Where'd that come from?

394
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:50,952
Way to go, honey.

395
00:17:52,324 --> 00:17:53,392
We did it!

396
00:17:53,629 --> 00:17:55,230
Yes!

397
00:17:55,267 --> 00:17:56,334
Yeah, but now what?

398
00:17:56,337 --> 00:17:58,638
Who's to stop them from
coming back and changing it?

399
00:17:58,643 --> 00:18:00,378
You're right.

400
00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:03,617
We still have to change the
story about the Mir Space Station.

401
00:18:03,657 --> 00:18:05,625
Why not leave it to a pro, kid?

402
00:18:05,629 --> 00:18:09,932
You want a story that solves all our problems.

403
00:18:09,941 --> 00:18:13,076
TRIXIE: Yeah, it's about time somebody
wrote some good news around here.

404
00:18:13,082 --> 00:18:15,017
Not while I'm editor, you don't.

405
00:18:15,656 --> 00:18:16,706
Stan!

406
00:18:20,369 --> 00:18:22,304
MR. CONRAD: Trixie, wait.

407
00:18:22,342 --> 00:18:24,082
Boss, have I got a headline for you?

408
00:18:24,113 --> 00:18:25,448
No, don't.

409
00:18:26,486 --> 00:18:28,088
Hit it, Trixie. No, don't!

410
00:18:28,124 --> 00:18:29,859
Stop the presses.

411
00:18:40,157 --> 00:18:43,027
What happened? Where's Mr. Conrad?

412
00:18:43,065 --> 00:18:44,900
You scooped him, buster.

413
00:18:44,936 --> 00:18:46,471
He's yesterday's news.

414
00:18:54,888 --> 00:18:59,702
MITCHELL: Things got back
to normal pretty quickly.

415
00:18:59,711 --> 00:19:01,179
The news still wasn't great,

416
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,483
but once in a while, a
few good stories broke through.

417
00:19:03,488 --> 00:19:05,090
"Mary Ann Taylor.

418
00:19:05,126 --> 00:19:08,629
Best Performance by a Nuclear
Plant employee in a supporting role."

419
00:19:08,970 --> 00:19:10,605
Wow!

420
00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:12,109
This is really somethin', honey.

421
00:19:12,112 --> 00:19:15,448
[SIGHS] I still don't feel
like I really even did anything.

422
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,124
You know, I didn't even
know that button was there...

423
00:19:18,162 --> 00:19:19,764
till I sat on it.

424
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,301
Aw, you're being too humble.

425
00:19:21,338 --> 00:19:25,075
Atomic America doesn't give their
revered two headed calf to just anybody.

426
00:19:26,953 --> 00:19:28,221
CARRIE: The paper's here.

427
00:19:29,928 --> 00:19:31,830
Looks like your 15 minutes are up, Mom.

428
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,966
Your picture's not on the front page today.

429
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,176
Oh, well...

430
00:19:37,215 --> 00:19:39,117
Must be more good news.

431
00:19:39,153 --> 00:19:42,513
EDWARD: Yeah, can't believe how
much of it's been happening lately.

432
00:19:44,969 --> 00:19:46,704
Taxes is going down.

433
00:19:46,741 --> 00:19:47,976
I don't believe it.

434
00:19:48,011 --> 00:19:49,913
"Dating causes pimples"?

435
00:19:49,917 --> 00:19:52,618
This is gonna put my pop
and glow stock through the roof.

436
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,060
And two reporters from Eerie win the lottery,

437
00:19:55,097 --> 00:19:57,166
and they're buying up the newspaper.

438
00:19:57,203 --> 00:19:58,538
Let's see that.

439
00:20:01,281 --> 00:20:02,983
[LAUGHS] Thanks, Dad.

440
00:20:12,476 --> 00:20:17,383
MITCHELL: Sometimes I
think we're overrun with news.

441
00:20:17,393 --> 00:20:18,994
Live, up to the minute,

442
00:20:19,031 --> 00:20:21,166
late breaking, it's become an obsession.

443
00:20:21,202 --> 00:20:24,706
[MITCHELL READING]

444
00:20:25,203 --> 00:20:29,083
He's got an Eerie Technologies' walkie.

445
00:20:29,091 --> 00:20:30,531
STANLEY: Pretty long string.

446
00:20:34,142 --> 00:20:39,343
MITCHELL: If you ask me,
Emil Conrad had the wrong idea.

447
00:20:39,353 --> 00:20:41,120
If he really wanted to sell newspaper,

448
00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:43,027
he didn't have to make up the news.

449
00:20:43,063 --> 00:20:46,123
He could've just reported
the weirdness that's already here.

450
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:54,141
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

451
00:20:54,191 --> 00:20:58,741
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